Rules of the (relationship) road

You can’t create a healthy relationship by starting out with a laundry list of “musts”.

Judge the individual, not the group.

If you’re unhappy with your romantic life, reexamine your assumptions about it. You will inevitably find that one or more of them is wrong.

Always be careful what you wish for. You might get it.

Cheap terrycloth makes terrible lube.

You’re not interviewing for a job, so don’t treat your dating profile like a resume.

Broken hearts mend.

Never explain. Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you anyway.

As a rule, men are size queens, and women are not.

What you take out of a morally neutral situation is almost always what you brought into it. (Sex is morally neutral.)

Never go spelunking while wearing a lace thong.

Moving in together, or starting a baby, with someone you have not known a *long* time can be asking for trouble.

If size doesn’t matter, why are there no 3″ dildoes?

The person matters.; the genitals don’t. The home-cooked meals don’t really matter, and the sex doesn’t really matter. It’s the connection that counts.

Once a woman has forgiven a man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. (Thanks to Marlene Dietrich, and the same must be said for men.)

If you’re not content and happy with your life before you start a relationship, you won’t be content and happy after you start one.

Intelligence is sexy.

A successful relationship contains an endless cycle of wrongs committed, apologies offered, and forgiveness granted, all leavened by laughter, fun, and the occasional orgasm. (This last was borrowed from Dan Savage but modified to make a more accurate–IMO–statement.)

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One comment on “Rules of the (relationship) road

  1. [...] Addendum #1 to Rules of the (Relationship) Road This is an addition to this blog’s very first post: [...]

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