I had a discussion with my sweetie a while back about the Duggar family, who has become (in)famous for being the poster family for the Quiverfull movement. I was sneering at the notion of having such a large number of children (the Duggars are at 19 and counting), and my Trophy Beloved stated that there was nothing wrong with that, in and of itself.
Reflection showed me that she was correct, though such a family is hardly a good example of family planning in these days of decreasing natural resources. However, something about the Quiverfull movement (aside from its Christian roots) still felt very wrong.
A little research uncovered several somethings:
- The Quiverfull movement frowns upon academic education for daughters. A lot. Some daughters are only taught rudimentary reading skills, and most are discouraged from learning anything that doesn’t help her have children and run a household.
- Would-be suitors for a Quiverfull daughter woo the daughter’s father long before she knows anything about the suitor.
- Wives are expected to be submissive appendages to their husbands’ wills. Husbands make all the major decisions and are the movers and shakers within the religion.
- Daughters are not allowed to live on their own prior to marriage. They get passed from father to husband directly.
- Sons are expected to marry a fertile woman within the movement and start making children as soon as possible after starting a career.
- Quiverfull couples are expected “to eschew birth control, natural family planning and sterilization“.
- The spearhead behind the Quiverfull movement was Mary Pride’s book The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality. (The title says it all.) Pride is also considered a pioneer in the homeschooling movement. (Homeschooling, albeit from a completely non-religious aspect, is something the Trophy Fiance does with her children, and is something I support wholeheartedly).
- A wife getting a divorce from a Quiverfull marriage causes the QF community to completely alienate her. The husband–not so much.
The Quiverfull movement represents yet another faith-based system of patriarchal rule where women have no say in their own fates whatsoever.
Not acceptable.
The Quiverfull movement is not my cup of tea, and the way women are treated is just plain wrong. However, I hate seeing big families be looked down upon using the Quiverfull movement as ammo. One needs to separate the religion from the love for a big family, IMO.
The Trophy Fiance, who is giggling at the thought of being a subservient appendage
The Quiverfull movement is harmful in many ways. Having a large family, in and of itself, is not bad. There are many families who WANT to “have lots of kids” because they just LOVE KIDS, and to them I say more power to you! We have six, so we aren’t exactly a small family, although ours came about through blending our 3 kids by marriage, having one together, and adopting 2. QF families have children because they believe it is their Christian DUTY to. That’s different. This movement ties childbearing to their ‘faith’ and tell their daughters that it is a SIN to use any form of family planning. They will continue to have children, even against medical advice, and if the mother has complications during a pregnancy or dies in childbirth, then she died righteously doing her duty. It sickens me. I am a Christ follower but I find no where in the Bible that these ideas are backed.
My local homeschool group has had patriarchal speakers who spew garbage about churches, youth groups, kid’s Sunday school classes, and even girls who wear jeans. It frustrates me because, like the Duggars, who are SO public, it gives many the impression that THIS is the way Christians are, or that THIS is the way homeschoolers are. It also lends this tainted view of ‘the perfect homeschooling family’… and to a brand new homeschool mother it immediately makes her think there is something wrong with the way HER FAMILY is doing things. But really, what is wrong is the Christian patriarchy movement. I got into a big series on this on my blog, and located lots of resources about it and even help for the bullied women who are looking for help to get OUT of it. The subservient appendages aren’t laughing, unfortunately.