“But now, my friend, I need to count on you. I absolutely must raise $107,372.19 in the next 25 days to pay past bills and keep programs going. I need to be able to count on you for a special gift of $50 or more. Can I count on you? If I am not able to raise the money, I don’t know what I will do. I don’t know how I can keep fighting. Without you, it will be impossible to hold off the Gay Bill of Special Rights, the Homosexual Classrooms Act or the Entry for Alien Homosexuals Bill. (Note: none of these “bills” exist.)
Why is he broke? Could it be that he spent more money than he had?
Why is he scared? He’s afraid evil homosexuals will discover his indebtedness secret and swoop in to destroy him.
(We could only hope.)