“Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

Our collie Libby does not like other people to have fun. When folk start cutting up and laughing, she inserts herself into the situation with that loud, sharp collie bark of hers. She insists that no one will be enjoying themselves on her watch.

Focus on the Family agrees with Libby:

“Loneliness strikes at the heart of both husbands and wives, but tends to plunge deeper into the emotional expanse of women. This is one reason why wives are seduced by “emo-porn,” virtual infidelity that is more emotionally satisfying before it physically pleases. But like salt water, it creates a worsening thirst. With emo-porn, fantasy men perform stunningly between the sheets of conversation, emotional understanding, and emotional dexterity. Most mortal men cannot deliver such behavior, the way men do in soap operas and romance novels. Just as wives rightly complain when compared to the artificially created women of Internet porn, men should complain when compared to the artificial men of daytime television. Interesting, isn’t it, how they have such exciting jobs—no Joe The Plumbers. In the real world where real men burn through a lot of emotional battery life to make a real living, being expected to behave like men who don’t exist is more than wrong. It’s cruel.

“Emo-porn creates caricatures in the minds and hearts of wives. Most men just aren’t and cannot be that attentive, especially in marriage where responsibilities to provide weigh heavy upon them. Husbands are quietly deemed unresponsive and uncaring when compared to emotionally dexterous hunks of daytime lore, chat rooms, celebrity rags, and romance novels. Thus a secretive and snowballing form of marital discontent is born and nurtured.”

So you housewives out there, with your soap operas and romance novels and internet chat rooms, need to watch out. Just as hubby gets off watching a porn scene where some barely-18 starlet is giving head to three guys at a time, you’re getting off on the lodge scene in that latest romance novel about a Native-American prince with the improbable name of “Long Arrow”.

According to FotF, though, just as hubby could start to think that every woman he sees is a sex freak, you might be so caught up in romance fantasies that you demand that every man be the emotional equivalent of a slight-of-hand artist, have the pecs and washboard of a fertility god, and possess genitals that perform gymnastics.


FotF wants to be sure that any attempt to enjoy life, outside the strict puritan dictates of Christianist doctrine, be trounced at once.

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One comment on ““Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

  1. [...] L. Mencken once said that puritanism was “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be [...]

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