A funny man, with funny things to say about Valentine’s Day:
See the rest of the cartoon here.
But wait! That’s not all! Peruse his choices of erudite Valentine’s Day cards — only for the very discerning lover.
“I’m not loving our current product — it may not hunt for you.”
Garry Trudeau is (IMO) the finest political cartoonist of the 20th and 21st centuries. Here is today another fine example:
(The title line made me laugh out loud the first time I read it.)
I, oo, a i uaae ae
Anyone want to guess what the “hidden” message is in the February 7, 2012, edition of Dilbert?
It was nothing but net for Mike Stanfill.
And, like Mr. S., I too stand in unabashed awe. This has got to be some kind of “first” for syndicated comics.
Funny imitates life
My stepsons, known collectively as The Four Horsemen, often generate the funniest material.
The family was talking about the recent Komen Foundation fracas; I mentioned Rachel Maddow’s claim that the entire Herman Cain presidential nominee campaign was nothing more than performance art. Cain’s recent appearance with Stephen Colbert seems to bear that out.
I don’t exactly remember whose idea this was, but a quick mental juxtaposition on someone’s part came up with this:
“Personal mammogram, ma’am?”
“Ya know, boah, somtahms reality jist grabs yuh ‘n shakes th’ livin’ daylights outtaya.”
Take a moment. Sit back and relax. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Consciously relax and take a long moment to recenter yourself.
Done? Good.
Now look at this article:
Click to enbiggen
Do you feel your blood pressure rising? Can you feel that catch in your breath as you see the headline and its accompanying photo of women in a long line in a beautiful, sun-lit mall, going to get their abortions?
Before you snuff your own life with a cerebral aneurysm, look just above that picture at this:
It’s satire, folks. It’s a joke.
Planned Parenthood does not run a big-box mall storefront for women who are getting abortions. Never have. Never will. Really.
What Planned Parenthood does offer are breast cancer screenings (the Komen Foundation’s pathetic attempts at stopping them notwithstanding), reduced-price and free contraceptives distribution (mostly condoms and birth control pills), sex education and anti-STD education programs, and well-women gynecology examinations. Less than 3% of PP’s budget is used for abortion referrals.
Remember, though, that anti-choice zealots often have no sense of humor or reality:
Could someone tell Congresscritter Fleming that Reality is on line 2 and Humor is on line 3 for him? They’re both pissed off.
Bad romance, bad food
I don’t unusually descend into celebrity bullshit, but this one was too juicy to pass up.
~~~
Apparently Lady Gaga’s father has opened a restaurant in NYC called JoAnne. Here is a fake Yelp review of the place:
I came here on a first date and ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! I had the “create your own pizza” with sun-dried tomatoes, glitter, dyed public hair, and reindeer antlers which I thoroughly enjoyed. My date ordered the linguini and clams served inside a giant clamshell strapped to a nubile young man’s head. At first it was a little awkward with him knelling before her while we ate, but he turned out to be quite the conversationalist and we all ended up going home and having a three-way! Parking was ample.
The real reviews of the place have been…less than glowing.
Just set Animal loose on them for awhile
Miss Piggy hits the X-ring again:
UPDATE: here is what started this fracas in a fruit jar:
A bad case of homophobia? Now there’s a cure!
Language NSFW
“There may be some initial discomfort. This is normal, and it will pass.” titter
Thanks, Joe, for the tip! (no pun intended)
“America has too many…Republican candidates!”
Garry Trudeau, who is looking at a half-century of political commentary straight in the face, still gets it right:
“You can’t be satirical and not be offensive to *someone*.”
I heard this on my iPod rotation this morning, and was reminded of what it was like to listen to people who made no pretension of being politically correct:
I really have a yen/To go back once again,
Back to the place/Where no one wears a frown –
To see once more those /Super-special just plain folks
In my hometown.No fella could ignore/The little girl next door.
She sure looks sweet/In her first evening gown.
Now there’s a charge/For what she used to give for free
In my hometown.I remember Dan/The drugist on the corner.
He was never mean or ornery/He was swell!
He killed his mother-in-law/And grounded her real well,
And sprinkled just a bit/Over each banana splitThe guy who taught us math/Who never took a bath
Acquired a certain/Measure of renown.
And after school he sold/The most amazing pictures
In my hometown.That fella was no fool/Who taught our Sunday School,
And neither was our/Kindly Parson Brown.
(We’re recording tonight so I’ll to leave this bit out)
In my hometown.I remember Sam!/He was the village idiot,
And thought it seems/A pity it was so.
He loved to burn down houses/Just to watch the glow.
And nothing could be done/Because he was the mayor’s son.The guy that took a knife/And monogrammed his wife
And dropped her in the pond/And watched her drown.
Oh yes, indeed, the people there/Are just plain folks
In my hometown.
Here’s the audio
Tom Lehrer didn’t care a whiff about objections to his songs. He figured that those who didn’t like what he sang could turn off the radio or change the station.
“It’s not mean if it’s true!”
The first good laugh I had in 2012.
Thanks to 1,000,000 Strong to Help Tea Party Patriots’ Spelling and Grammar.
Sunday morning, tinged with a little comic madness
(NSFW unless your boss likes Nine Inch Nails)
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Trent Reznor — all of them a little “Closer”:
“I’ve come to bring Voyager home.”
In response to the “Harry Potter vs. Twilight vs. Star Wars vs. Star Trek” tough women meme, here is a modest addition:
Take that, y’all.
“No one loves me, so why should I be nice?”
The first frame should have been the last one here, but the lesson is still there.
From today’s Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal:
“exigology” doesn’t exist as a word (as far as I can tell), but it should.
The corollary: If you don’t vote, you can’t win.
