Tag Archives: Michele Bachmann

Early-morning upset stomach

From the wit and wisdom of Michele Bachmann:

“I hold a biblical view of law. If you look at the original constitution and the founding documents of our country, it was clear that the founders wanted to separate power, they wanted to separate the presidency from the Supreme Court and from the Congress, because they thought that the Congress should be the most powerful of all the people’s voices because the people would have the ability to change out the members of the House every two years, originally the state legislatures would chose the Senators and they would have the state’s interest in mind, and the President was meant to execute the laws that Congress would put into place. The courts had a relatively minor function, it was to take current facts and apply it to the law that Congress had passed. So it was really a beautiful system that set up but it’s been distorted since then, and that’s what we need to do, get back to the original view of the Founders because it worked beautifully.”

So, the judicial branch has “a relatively minor function”? And “it’s been distorted since then”?

She holds “a biblical view of law”? What, eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth? Dashing the heads of your enemies’ babies against rocks until they break?

Or is it “women should be silent in church” (1 Corinthians 14:34)? or women should be silent and not have authority over men (1 Timothy 2:12)?

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“Oh, and I think the U.S. Embassy in Tehran hasn’t been open in, oh, 32 years.”

From the Washington Post:

Jane Schmidt, a student at Waverly High School, in Waverly, Iowa, recently asked Michele Bachmann, “Why can’t same-sex couples get married?”

“They can get married,” Bachmann responded, “but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they’re a man.”

Uh, Ms. Bachmann, in Iowa same-sex couples can get married. Just thought you’d like that news flash.

And, oh yeah! I think it’s peachy keen that you urge people who aren’t sexually compatible to get married. Way to go, Mrs. Ladybird.

Towering towers of pure, unadulterated, grade-A, all-American bullshit

Every so often you hear something from a politician’s mouth that makes you think that politics wants to square-off mano a mano with organized religion in some sort of “I can stack bullshit higher than YOU can” competition.

This from Michele Bachmann, when she was asked about her viewpoints on economics:

“… the late Milton Friedman as well as Thomas Sowell and Walter Williams. “I’m also an Art Laffer fiend—we’re very close,” she adds. “And [Ludwig] von Mises. I love von Mises…when I go on vacation and I lay on the beach, I bring von Mises.”

Anyone ever read von Mises? Anybody who

  • thinks that one fretful mother’s opinion on the side-effects of Gardasil, despite mountains of objective material to the contrary, should control U.S. medical policy,
  • lies about not receiving farm subsidies when her tax returns say she does, and
  • compares Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 economic policy with the Christianist Number of the Beast

could not begin to grasp von Mises’ work.

She needs to quit getting ideas from the backs of milk cartoon, Saturday morning cartoons, and video games.

The Incredible Chootz-pah!; or, Just How Stupid Must You Be to Be a Politician?

We all have events and deeds in our lives that we’re ashamed of. Many committed youthful indiscretions are chalked up to “he’s being a kid” or “she just needs to grow up a little” or (my least favorite) “boys will be boys”.

Most of us learn from those events and deeds and grow up a bit and don’t repeat them.

However, it would seem that many politicians, already full of hubris (or because of hubris), just don’t absorb those lessons well.

  • California governor Arnold Schwarzeneger not only had a years-long affair with his children’s nanny, but actually fathered a child by her and kept her in his employment — and all of this before he ever ran for governor! He had to know that news of his actions would eventually leak. (Schwarzenegger and his wife are now in divorce proceedings.)
  • U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner made a habit of sending unsolicited pictures of his genitalia to women. He had to know that news of his actions would eventually leak. (Weiner resigned his seat in the House.)
  • Former House Speaker Newton Gingrich, now running for the highest office of the most powerful country on Earth, cheated on his (sick with cancer) first wife, divorced her, married his paramour, and then cheated on her, divorced her, and married his new paramour. (Gingrich continues to run for President.)
  • Married businessman Herman Cain, also running for the highest office of the most powerful country on Earth, not only had four different women file complaints about his unwanted sexual advances (and no one knows how many more that didn’t file), but continued to have a years-long affair with a woman that he “thought was a friend”. He had to know that news of his actions would eventually leak. (Cain is reportedly “reconsidering” his campaign.)

All of these politicians (and many, many others) knew what they had done, knew that they were pursuing a career where (at least nominally) moral fiber is looked upon as a desirable attribute, and yet continued to flash, adulter, and procreate outside societal bounds.

Did they really think they’d get away with it? Did they really think people were that blind and stupid? Did Michele Bachmann really think she could simultaneously 1) claim that “big government” was giving away too much money, and 2) accept annual 5-figure farm subsidy payments for a farm that produces nothing, and 3) deny that she’s getting farm subsidies despite tax returns that give proof to the contrary?

Why the HELL would you want to vote
for people like that?

“Fear me, if you dare!”

Some endorsements for your presidential candidacy are helpful.

Some are a dead albatross hung about your neck.

“Reverend” John Hagee (he from whom John McCain ran away screaming in 2008) has endorsed Rick Perry in that Hagee co-sponsored the mass prayer meeting which Perry sponsored. Steve Forbes has also endorsed Perry.

Kelsey Grammer and Wayne Newton (ewww!) have endorsed Michele Bachmann.

And now Ann Coulter has endorsed Mitt Romney.

As Puss in Boots would say, “Pray for mercy.”

“Don’t you think? Or don’t you?”

The current crop of Republican presidential candidates all seem set to put the screws to the poor and middle class by cutting back on government programs designed to prop up the social safety net when it fails.

The Affordable Care Act’s (ACA) provisions for ensuring health insurance for those who cannot afford it is a prime example of that safety net. You’d think that supporting legislation that guarantees that everyone has access to at least minimal health care would be a good thing.

According to Ron Paul, whose 2008 campaign go-to guy Kent Snyder died just weeks after the end of that campaign, it’s charity to the rescue. Snyder died of complications due to pneumonia, and had no health care due to preexisting health conditions. The ACA would have helped prevent that death. (Paul gave not one dime to the effort to raise money to help Snyder’s mother pay the bills.)

During the CNN-sponsored Tea Party candidate “debate”, Newt Gingrich suggested that the uninsured look to charity for help with medical bills:

Michele Bachmann recently told an Iowa woman essentially the same thing:

With the number of uninsured Americans having risen above 50 million last year, there is no way for charities to raise the money to pay for expensive medical procedures.

You’d think that Republicans would flock to the idea of attracting millions of votes by actively supporting a program that would diretly benefit the uninsured.

You’d think the idea of helping prevent 45,000 needless deaths would be an attractive one.

You’d think.

Psst! Wanna watch a presidential campaign go down in flames in 48 seconds?

It’s kinda like watching a train wreck:

From this morning’s Michele Bachmann — Politician Facebook page:

Hang it up, Michele. C’mon back home to Minnesota. You can run for reelection in November 2012, and we will laugh our asses off when your Democratic opponent opens a giant economy-sized can of whoop-ass on you.

She just can’t crawl back into her hole quietly

She has to push.

After a month in which she did not perform one single, solitary function of her job as a U.S. Representative, Michele Bachmann has introduced a bill into the House:

“The ‘Heartbeat Informed Consent Act,’ announced on Thursday, would require a woman seeking an abortion to undergo an ultrasound, in order to view and hear a fetal heartbeat.”

From Bachmann’s press release:

“A pregnant woman who enters an abortion clinic is faced with a decision that will forever change two lives. That’s why she must have the very best information with which to make that decision. The ‘Heartbeat Informed Consent Act,’ that I introduced today, would require that abortion providers make the unborn child’s heartbeat visible through ultrasound, describe the cardiac activity, and make the baby’s heartbeat audible, if the child is old enough for it to be detectable.

“A study by Focus on the Family found that when women who were undecided about having an abortion were shown an ultrasound image of the baby, 78% chose life. An unborn baby’s heartbeat can be detected as early as five weeks after conception and ultrasound technology is an amazing medical advance that provides a window for a pregnant woman to see her unborn child. My legislation will not only enable this technology to be better used to protect life, but also to ensure that a woman who is considering abortion is finally able to give full and informed consent.”

The release material is blatant bullshit. It’s obvious that Bachmann is trying to boost her dying campaign by pandering to the anti-choice, anti-woman electorate in a desperate attempt that will go nowhere within the Democratic-controlled Senate. It’s interesting that she’s back at her job from which she’s been a chronic absentee when she’s running scared that she won’t get the Republican nomination. She owes the American people her pay for the month of September, plus 60% of her entire stint in the House (the percentage of time she’s been at her assigned committees and on the floor of the House).

Do us a favor, Michele. Go back to being a tax clerk, like your husband wanted you to. Go back to scaring tax delinquents instead of continuing to terrify this nation.

“Detentions are looking very possible.”

From: Speaker of the House Principal John Boerner
To: Representative Sophomore Michele Bachmann
Re: Your excessive class absenteeism

Michele, we really need to do something about how often you are missing classes.

At the time you announced that you were running for class president, you were only  attending 2 of your 5 daily classes. I understand that you had notes from your parents excusing your absences, but 40% attendance is missing far too many classes. You and I have had several talks about this, and you keep promising me you’ll get better about this.

However, since your candidacy announcement it has gotten worse. You did not show up to class a single time in the entire month of September. Also, you have done very little, if any, of your homework.

This is inexcusable, and no way for a potential class president to behave.

Here’s the deal. You start showing up and doing your job (attending classes and getting your homework in and on time), and I’ll forgive your past transgressions and allow you to run for office. The other candidates (Mitt, Ricky, and Herman) are managing their workload and social life much more responsibly, and quite frankly they are showing the maturity necessary to handle the office of class president far better than you.

Come to my office at your first opportunity; we need to talk.

–
Principal John

Let’s hear it for the Queen Bee of wingnuttery!

If I had to choose a candidate for the person that has done more to set back the causes that support women than anyone else in the last 100 years, it would be Phyllis Schlafly.

With the support of arch-conservative groups, who were in turn supported by rich benefactors who are to this day too cowardly to come forward and admit their support, Schlafly spearheaded movements that spread misinformation about the Equal Rights Amendment, which is comprised of the following three sections:

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

Schlafly claimed that passing the ERA would allow the military to put women into combat zones (which it does now anyway), outlaw separate bathroom facilities for men and women,

The ERA was eventually passed in 35 of the required 38 states before ratification time ran out.

Schlafly was a member of the John Birch Society (hi, Fred!) but left not because she didn’t see communists behind every tree but because she felt that the Worldwide Communist Threat would come from outside the U.S. Schlafly soon thereafter formed The Eagle Forum, which still sponsors speakers, publishes books and pamphlets, and has a strong internet presence.

Schlafly firmly believed that a woman’s place was described succinctly by the Bible: home with the children, submissive to her husband’s wishes, and silent in the face of disagreement with men. (This was a joke in her case, with her political activism, her writing, and her frequent speech campaigns.

Schlafly is a strong advocate against feminism and women’s rights. Her tastes in anti-choice rhetoric takes many flavors; this is from a speech at Bates College:

“By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don’t think you can call it rape.”

She conveniently ignores the fact that a woman is a human being, entitled to the rights and privileges of human beings.

To top off this cavalcade of wingnuttery, let’s get two of them out on stage here, right now! Put your hands together for Michele and Phyllis!

Bachmann’s fangirlism for Schlafly is profuse:

“If I could just say a couple of words about Phyllis Schlafly, she is my heroine and my example as a forerunner…She truly is the mother of the modern conservative movement. I think she is the most important woman in the United States in the last one hundred years. Whatever Phyllis Schlafly says, it’s important that we listen, because she’s there on every issue, on every front. She is our hero, our heroine, our stalwart and I absolutely adore her. So God Bless you, my dear mentor and the person I hope to be some day.”

I don’t know about you, tovarisch, but I’m figuring if Phyllis Schlafly had had her way with American society, Michele Bachmann wouldn’t be in the House of Representatives, and she wouldn’t be running for president. She’d be back following the career her husband dictated and “raising” 23 more foster girls with eating disorders who make for convenient babysitters.

Newspeak spoken here!

Remember how Michele Bachmann wanted to harshly cut veterans’ benefits, particularly benefits for disabled vets? She proposed $4.5 billion in cuts back in January.

But hey! that was January. Now it’s September, and it’s a different world. For Michele Bachmann, anyway. Speaking before the national American Legion convention last week:

“One point on my discussion list was a $4.5 billion proposal that would affect payments made to our veterans. That discussion point has received a lot of attention and I have decided to remove it from consideration. The problem of government spending must be solved, but not on the backs of our nation’s war heroes. I have always been a proud supporter of the United States military and I continue to stand with our veterans.  In the months ahead I look forward to working with our Veterans Service Organizations to ensure that we fulfill our commitments to those who sacrificed so much in their brave service for our country.” (emphasis mine)

When you live in 1984 she thinks you can say anything today, contradict it tomorrow, and get away with it. When she says, “I have always been a proud supporter of the United States military”, she seems to be really saying, “I’m looking for a way to suck up to the Tea Party, and here’s my latest poorly thought-out gibber. I will likely contradict myself the first time I can make campaign hay out of it.”

There’s no way you could buy humor like this…

…even if it does have a grim edge.

Thousands of people suffer from hydrocephaly, a condition that causes retardation, paralysis, and often leads to death.

One of our fine upstanding Congresscritters wants to remind us all:

She tries *so* hard to be a good citizen...

In 2009 Bachmann sponsored House Resolution 373 designating September as National Hydrocephaly Month.  The resolution included:

“…further research into the epidemiology, pathophysiology, disease burden, and improved treatment of hydrocephalus should be conducted and supported” and that “public awareness, professional education, and scientific research regarding hydrocephalus should increase through partnerships between the Federal Government, health care professionals, and patient advocacy groups…It is my hope that by raising awareness of hydrocephalus, we can encourage the research that will lead to new diagnoses, treatments, and cures for it, helping these children and their families live full lives without constantly fearing the worst.”

Such a humanitarian, that Michele.

There’s only one tiny spot of botulinus in this petri dish:

“It’s a curious honor, though, since Bachmann has voted against federal funding for hydrocephalus research at every opportunity since she was elected to Congress in 2006.”

It seems that funding for hydrocephalus research comes through the Department of Health & Human Services (HHS), and Bachmann voted against every HHS appropriations bill that funds research on hydrocephaly in 2007. She did the same in 2008, and indeed has done so every year since. The woman has done nothing for those who suffer from this awful medical condition — except to make some sort of empty, meaningless political gesture guaranteed to get her yet one more photo op.

Yep, she’s quite the humanitarian. And a two-faced backbirth.

Dumber and dumberer

According to Michele Bachmann, she “doesn’t judge gay people“.

However, that appears to be just the tiniest white lie:

Bachmann's keynote address announcement

It strikes me as odd that she “doesn’t deal with fringe issues like gay marriage”, but she goes out of her way to be associated with groups like the Florida Family Policy Council, a strongly anti-choice, anti-gay, anti-non-Christian (all defined by Bachmann as “fringe issues”) group with a history of threatening those who belong to religious groups other than their own.

“Igniting a Cultural Revolution” is an intriguing title for this event. Might that “revolution” have room in for all Americans, or just those white Dominionist pinheads who so badly want to further their desire for power?

Striking New Hampshire from possible vacation states…

New Hampshire’s minimum wage regulations were stripped from the law books despite Governor John Lynch’s veto.

Republican state house speaker William O’Brien called it a “job-killing law”:

“With this veto, the governor is sending the wrong message to employers that New Hampshire is going to make it harder to create jobs…”[Voters] have sent a clear message that they wanted more jobs, not job-killing regulations, like the minimum wage.”

Carol McGuire, dumbass of the day

Does O’Brien really think that rolling back minimum wages will create more jobs? Is he that naive?

First-term representative Carol McGuire (and Tea Party wackaloon) was the bill’s sponsor:

“It’s very discriminatory, particularly for young people. They’re not worth the minimum.”

Ms. McGuire? Some people try to keep a family going with minimum wage jobs, many young people are worth more than minimum wage, and this is nothing more than an empty act, carried out by privileged knobs, to curry political favor among the other wackaloons.

It’s all a meaningless act, anyway; the federally-mandated minimum wage is now in effect in NH, making the state action superfluous…

…unless the federal government repeals minimum wage laws, an action Michele Bachmann (Minnesota’s wackaloon) calls for. Such an event would leave New Hampshire subsistence workers with no protection.