I was wondering when this would happen

Eugene Delgaudio, the self-proclaimed “Public Advocate for the United States” and rabid homophobic closet case especial, is broke and scared.

“But now, my friend, I need to count on you. I absolutely must raise $107,372.19 in the next 25 days to pay past bills and keep programs going. I need to be able to count on you for a special gift of $50 or more. Can I count on you? If I am not able to raise the money, I don’t know what I will do. I don’t know how I can keep fighting. Without you, it will be impossible to hold off the Gay Bill of Special Rights, the Homosexual Classrooms Act or the Entry for Alien Homosexuals Bill. (Note: none of these “bills” exist.)

Why is he broke? Could it be that he spent more money than he had?

Why is he scared? He’s afraid evil homosexuals will discover his indebtedness secret and swoop in to destroy him.

(We could only hope.)

Thanks to Joe for the tip. I wish I knew where he’s getting Delgaudio’s proclamations.)
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Tit for tat

There is an ongoing trial in California to decide the constitutionality of California’s Proposition 8, which limits marriage to one man, one woman.

However this trial turn out, it will doubtless be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, which will decide whether one-man-one-woman marriage laws now in force in some states will be upheld or declared unconstitutional.

President Barack Obama has stated that he feels gay marriage is not right. (Like a good politician, however, he felt just the opposite–”unequivocal”–in 1996 when he ran for office in the Illinois state senate.)

I have just one question for Mr. Obama:

If your parents had lived in Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Georgia, or several other states in the late ’50s or early ’60s, how would they have gotten married?

The right is opposing gay marriage in the 21st century, just as they vehemently opposed “miscegenation” in the 20th century. Witness some of the wackadoodle actions in the past that required judicial intervention to overcome. (The Supreme Court decided in 1967 to overturn state bans on interracial marriages.)

Airline bomber nonsense

Riddle me this:

How is giving the illusion of airline safety in the U.S. (by going to full-body scans, racial and nationalist profiling, and general fascist-leaning wonkiness) going to prevent a religious wackadoodle with a boner bomb from boarding a flight in Amsterdam and blowing up a plane over Detroit?

Update: Intelligence sources had flagged the Christmas Day bomber prior to his arrival in Detroit and intended to question him. I know, a day late and a dollar short, but it shows U.S. intelligence was on the job.

Complete Idiot’s Guide, part 2

Civil engineer Harold CampingThe latest religious wackadoodle has annnounced the “true date” of the Christian Rapture.

I’m particularly amused by this bit of mathematical “reasoning”:

The number 5, Camping concluded, equals “atonement.” Ten is “completeness.” Seventeen means “heaven.” Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011.

“Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.,” he began. “Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that’s 1,978 years.”

Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days – the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.

Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.

Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.